Among many other tasks, Jesus’ main assignment was to be “the way” to bring people to God for man. Along with his goodness, his teachings, his struggles with a world who mocked him, his miracles on earth, and his unwavering faith – he was STILL literally going to have to go through Hell and high water to fulfill His purpose.
What is YOUR Assignment? My assignment?!? What MORE is there for me to endure, God? I get it. I understand the overwhelm. I get the fear, the PTSD of it all. Like maybe a fear of what MORE pain or struggle your future could hold. Or maybe the feelings of skepticism when you think about a God that would ask you to carry on through this pain and suffering- and then STILL carry out some mission– after all this? It’s a lot to consider. That God is not done with you YET. That your service to Him, your faithfulness, and the ups and downs of your life BEFORE your spouse passed, feel in all in vain now- now that you’ve been asked to do THIS too. Kinda scary, to be honest. To know that God, even through the hardest trial of your life so far – is STILL not done with you.
And our assignments don’t have labels on them, to warn us in advance which ones are the HUGE life changing ones and which ones are small and stay small. We really only see in hindsight – if we ever see at all – what ripple effect God intended our assignment to create in his grandiose plan. Being a widow, I thought, was going to be my biggest, most insurmountable assignment. Only in hindsight did I see that losing my husband was actually not the hardest part of this assignment – and it was HARD. But raising children in his absence, having to keep alive the memory and details of Jason, which broke my heart to have to do on command— for young children that didn’t remember and NEEDED HIM SO MUCH —THAT was my hardest battle. My assignment was to make the difference in these kids’ lives. To be the bridge between them and their departed father. To make sure THEY didn’t break or grow up broken. And guess what – I did. Still am. It worked out. Still is. All for our good. I became better – for THEM. They are strong, intelligent, and beautiful now! I would have NEVER imagined things would have bent and twisted and cleared from our paths to create such a fortunate and positive future. I would have never believed my pain had such a worthy cause. I was afraid. But it turned out alright. My sons clearly have important assignments as well- the world needs them. And the ripple that created their futures, started with my assignment.
Of course I have other assignments, as I’m sure widowhood has given you all as well. I guess my message here is to help you realize that no matter how crazy, unsuccessful, overwhelming, or even insignificant your assignment might sound – Don’t give up. Don’t be afraid! Do it scared if you have to! God has plans for all of us, and as ‘cliche’ as that sounds, ALL of our missions are immensely important. It is ALL for our good!! The success of the mission; size, scope, and impact – are HIS responsibility. Our job is simply to be obedient and carry them out.
Meditation: Where has widowhood brought you? Do you see a mission in this new identity? Is there someone who you might follow your example, be comforted by your empathy, or motivated by your perseverance? God does not deal in coincidences. Jesus said that not even a sparrow falls to the ground without our Father’s notice (Matthew 10:29) You are where you are – on purpose. Think about what is going on in your life now, and where you may be being called upon – your specific circumstance and position – to serve in His Divine Plan. Don’t give up. THIS- as unbelievable as it might sound – is all for your good. You gon be aight!Matthew 10:29