May 31

My Story

3  comments

Ok – Who am I?

Every Widow has a story. Every widow I meet, help, or connect with wants to know FIRST – Is She Like Me? Does she REALLY Get it? Can she REALLY Help me?

Yes. I am. I can. Here is my story.

My husband passed away very suddenly – no warnings, no planning…no goodbyes. 

Random head injury. He literally “just tripped”. He’d been playing with the kids, running backward in a relay race – on Easter Sunday in 2009. His head injury instantly gave him an hour, 2 at most, left to live.

 I became an instant single mom, and 27- year-old widow in about 45 minutes flat, that day.

Suddenly  I was no longer able to afford my home on my single income. I had to move back home with my parents, kids in tow, like a returned mail-order-bride. Even with that support system,  I felt homeless without Jason. He WAS my home.

I became barely functional for my 18 month and 6 year old, very dependent on my parents. My oldest needed therapy and my youngest wailed for his dad. They both clearly were going through something I couldn’t fix… which broke my heart every day.

Bills, benefits, and  social security paperwork piled up.

I began suffering anxiety attacks. Badly. Suddenly I was battling postpartum depression, grieving, serial dating, self medicating, counselor/doctor hopping .. and I’d be laid off from my job 6 months into my crazy upside down widow life.

I’ll never forget the moment when I decided it was time to ACT, and turn off the “autopilot”.

It was the end of year 2 being a widow, and I’d finally  settled on a counselor. She had said some things that were beginning to sink in. Things about controlling what you CAN, and what you REALLY have the power to create.

That’s when it HIT me. She had been trying to tell me this:

My ship may have been WAY  off course – but I still had the wheel. 

Even in my “crazy” widow state – I STILL had control over SOME things. I could STILL, realistically change my life, my mindset, and rebuild my core. I could create a new, NEXT me – with a foundation to that NO DEATH could ever take away from me again. 

But HOW? And where to START? And what about MONEY?

Before I could ask her, SHE died. Pancreatic Cancer. It took her very quickly. I was on my own.

I took what she said and went to work on a plan. She would not die in vain. Her words had changed me.

I developed a system that decluttered my crazy mom-life, gave me back my focus and clarity and created a NEW purpose.  I even figured out how to support my children and save for college – and got all my crazy benefit/tax/mortgage mayhem resolved. 

Today I am GLOWING. I didn’t just “get a new man and move on”. I didn’t just vent, pray, party, yoga or sleep it all away. I made a logical, simple, no-magic-or-surgery-required, MAP to rebuilding after loss. 

And now, truly living my dream life – fitting in where I belong, creating something no death can ever take from me. I am THRIVING in my purpose. I am committed to giving this map to every widowed mom out there who is ready to do the same!

This is my story… My WHY… my Purpose and PASSION!!!

If you’re ready to rebuild – move forward … and BE THAT #NEXTYOU… START Here.

I’m HERE for YOU!!! Let’s build it TOGETHER.


Tags

mypassion, mystory, whoami


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